Fantasies & Desires – One Perspective

What are we but the result of our actions, according to our fantasies, dreams and desires?
Life should be a pursuit of aspirations and goals, but at the same time, a hunt for new challenges and purposes...
Conformism is a human condition which people settle for something that’s not quite what they wanted; a place, a person or a situation...

Someone who is conformed is one that life is no longer a moving train but it’s a cold seat in the station... is someone who watches life pass by, who does not feel the need to try and get to the next stop...
One that is conformed might think that he/she is just unlucky, or worse, that they deserve that kind of lifestyle... It can also mean that they think that they are happy enough, that one part of their lives is good so the rest is just overrated...

I don’t believe a person can ever be happy enough... Happiness is an unreachable concept, it’s a fantasy... and as Slavoj Zizek puts it, "through fantasy, we learn how to desire"...
Settling can be a great thing, when you reach what you desired but if, at the same time, you find something else to fantasise about...
I also think that the age and one’s maturity may affect these situations... but having live examples of both cases, of the conformed and on the other hand of the unsatisfied people, the lack of action in some and the hunger for more of others, I truly believe in the continuous chase of one’s desires...

No More Mr. Nice Guy!

A Knight in shining armour or a Damsel in distress are no longer the perfect match...
A nice guy means he will not put up a fight; he will always be available at your command, he will be a goodie-two-shoes, he won’t tease you or play games, he won’t be challenging... he won’t be fun at all...
Example - Conversation between two girls:
“What is he like?”
“He’s a nice guy.”
“Hmmm… ok.”

A nice girl means she’s someone whom you don’t even consider a sexual being resides inside, she’s one that won’t make you run after, she won’t mess with your head or play hard to get... she won’t be fun at all...
Example - Conversation between two guys:
“What is she like?”
“She’s a nice girl.”
“Oooh, that’s too bad...”

The true appeal must come from within, from something that isn’t obvious...
For sure the body and personality are still the main first features one analyses but if you give yourself instantly or sell yourself cheap, most likely the interest will disappear and you become a nice guy/girl and just a good friend...

The more I live and learn and the more I hear and discuss, the more I believe that Nice People are destine to evolve and become less Nice and more Evil...
In my opinion, excessive Niceness has its days counted, and Naughty is the new Nice...

Games: Playing and being Played

Games are supposed to be fun and amusing...

Games amongst people are a way to draw, provoke and appeal another person for whom you may have some interest in getting to know better or a simple and pure physical attraction...
Games don’t mean one is Playing and the other is Played... it should mean that it’s the evolved today’s way to court someone, to pull them and get their curiosity...

Playing Games vary in the different stages of the human interactions...

In the beginning it should be entertaining and enjoyable to play with someone new and get to know their different opinions and various personality features...
With a sexual interest it can be translated in sending mixed signals... in flirting and then seeming unaffected by the reactions... it normally captivates the attention of both involved as it is an open and harmless game...

It is part of the human nature to take something for granted when all points in that direction, so in a relationship I believe that a small level of insecurity is actually healthy...
For either parts the sense that they have to work hard and on a day-to-day basis to keep the other person is essential for the well being of both and their relationship...
Neither should be afraid all the time but either 100% safe, relationships should be an easy and exciting challenge but nevertheless a challenge...Part of the Game is also giving more than the other person expects every now and then... it would be boring if the other person already knew and expected something like this and therefore with no surprise at all...

I consider being Played, when lies and deception are used to allure someone... when one the parts doesn’t understand that a game is being played... when someone is unaware that the other person knows what his or her actions are causing and also knows that it is purposely confusing them...

In a relationship being Played happens when someone does to the other what and how he/she pleases without any consideration of his or her feelings... No one likes to be a punching bag or a carpet to be stepped on, so at some point a change should, must and will happen...


I love Playing these Games of attraction and flirting, especially after acknowledging the differences between Playing and being Played...
In sum, Life is a Game, so Play nice...