Confusions

I don't know how or when this happened...

I don't know yet, how to deal with it...

I don't even know what caused it exactly...

It might have been obvious for some and a complete novelty for others...
Those that know me might have even suspected it but never told me about it...
On the other hand to strangers it might have been their first impression...It came to me as a complete surprise...
I never thought of myself like that...
My plans for the future did not contemplate this confusion...
Only recently, in a complete random conversation I realised it might be true...
Having made it all this time without realising it; this may well change everything...
I always believed I could be someone like that but I just thought I chose not to...
I thought that choice had been made a long time ago...

Standing on the back of the bus as I write this in my little note pad, between shakes and bumps; I feel I don’t belong anymore...I always thought I would be a corporate suit, and now I could turn out to be a strategic planner or even a copywriter...

What did you think?

Settling in

Every new beginning takes time and effort... It also takes some patience, which I am not particularly famous for...
After getting all the bureaucratic paper work done, it was time to find a new place and a new job...

Rushed into a new flat, having received a ton of money scam emails, I quickly I wasn’t going to stay there long... So I found a new one, that I can now call home...


The supposedly hard part would be to find a job, but honestly after spending 1 hour knocking on doors in Darling Harbour, I got mine.




The easiest thing in these multicultural cities is to meet people and make friends...
It is seriously the one thing I’ve found in common in all the big cities I visited/lived...With the World Cup, everyone’s sleep deprived and all the night life is scheduled according to who’s playing when...
Yes, because here the games are either at midnight or at 4.30am...Now I can’t wait for two things, to start my Masters, but also to start feeling the warm Australian weather...In sum, I’ve settled in...

I Wish You Were Here

I wish you were here...
You know who you are!
You are the people who have shared your lives and been there for me...

I’ve met you a month ago, a year, a decade or even more than that... It’s not about how long but how much you’ve been in my life...
Either we’ve shared looks, thoughts or moments, as you read this you will feel and know what I am talking about...

We might not talk for some time now, but I want you to know that if I remember you, it means I didn’t forget!
I miss you all, and I wish you were all here with me!

It is in fact a different place

After a 33 hour flight and a week of some sleep disorder, I’m beginning to experience this city...
Tall buildings that swallow you in a cosmopolitan sea mixed with a constant summer and beach feeling...
The laid back way of living, such as walking into a bank and everyone who works there is either wearing a colourful wig or a clowns tie just because they were helping a charity fund-raiser, or talking to random people in a queue about how humid the day is today, is just too heart warming and diverse...

After some proper clubbing last night, going to stand in the hot sun at a harbour when, without any notice, chill out music starts playing from small speakers spread all around almost made me scream how much I’m enjoying being here...

This Next Step is starting quite well...

The Next Step

Now, for the first time since I came back, I am on a plane again...
Going for two days only but still makes me think on the long trip that awaits me next week...
It’s finally sinking in...
I am not going to see a lot of people for a long time...
I’ll be living in a completely different time zone...
I’ll be awake when you’re asleep... I’ll be asleep when you’re awake...
I am happy to go by myself, but at the same time I am scared going all alone...
It’s exciting and scary at the same time... it’s a weird, petrifying, wonderful feeling...
I am hating it... and I am loving it!
Here I GO!!!

You and Me

For almost ten years I feel like I haven't seen you properly...
I have been very happy and very sad, and you just wouldn’t appear...
I have been through a lot, but you never showed up...
I tried, and I tried to have you, but you always seemed to get away...
I have missed you and even thought that it was actually a “it’s me, not you” problem...

You at long last came out when I least expected...
I finally felt you wondering along my face...
You are the sign that I am alive and feeling...
You are the ultimate demonstration of affection and tender...

I hate you and love you at the same time, my tear...

Fantasies & Desires – One Perspective

What are we but the result of our actions, according to our fantasies, dreams and desires?
Life should be a pursuit of aspirations and goals, but at the same time, a hunt for new challenges and purposes...
Conformism is a human condition which people settle for something that’s not quite what they wanted; a place, a person or a situation...

Someone who is conformed is one that life is no longer a moving train but it’s a cold seat in the station... is someone who watches life pass by, who does not feel the need to try and get to the next stop...
One that is conformed might think that he/she is just unlucky, or worse, that they deserve that kind of lifestyle... It can also mean that they think that they are happy enough, that one part of their lives is good so the rest is just overrated...

I don’t believe a person can ever be happy enough... Happiness is an unreachable concept, it’s a fantasy... and as Slavoj Zizek puts it, "through fantasy, we learn how to desire"...
Settling can be a great thing, when you reach what you desired but if, at the same time, you find something else to fantasise about...
I also think that the age and one’s maturity may affect these situations... but having live examples of both cases, of the conformed and on the other hand of the unsatisfied people, the lack of action in some and the hunger for more of others, I truly believe in the continuous chase of one’s desires...

No More Mr. Nice Guy!

A Knight in shining armour or a Damsel in distress are no longer the perfect match...
A nice guy means he will not put up a fight; he will always be available at your command, he will be a goodie-two-shoes, he won’t tease you or play games, he won’t be challenging... he won’t be fun at all...
Example - Conversation between two girls:
“What is he like?”
“He’s a nice guy.”
“Hmmm… ok.”

A nice girl means she’s someone whom you don’t even consider a sexual being resides inside, she’s one that won’t make you run after, she won’t mess with your head or play hard to get... she won’t be fun at all...
Example - Conversation between two guys:
“What is she like?”
“She’s a nice girl.”
“Oooh, that’s too bad...”

The true appeal must come from within, from something that isn’t obvious...
For sure the body and personality are still the main first features one analyses but if you give yourself instantly or sell yourself cheap, most likely the interest will disappear and you become a nice guy/girl and just a good friend...

The more I live and learn and the more I hear and discuss, the more I believe that Nice People are destine to evolve and become less Nice and more Evil...
In my opinion, excessive Niceness has its days counted, and Naughty is the new Nice...

Games: Playing and being Played

Games are supposed to be fun and amusing...

Games amongst people are a way to draw, provoke and appeal another person for whom you may have some interest in getting to know better or a simple and pure physical attraction...
Games don’t mean one is Playing and the other is Played... it should mean that it’s the evolved today’s way to court someone, to pull them and get their curiosity...

Playing Games vary in the different stages of the human interactions...

In the beginning it should be entertaining and enjoyable to play with someone new and get to know their different opinions and various personality features...
With a sexual interest it can be translated in sending mixed signals... in flirting and then seeming unaffected by the reactions... it normally captivates the attention of both involved as it is an open and harmless game...

It is part of the human nature to take something for granted when all points in that direction, so in a relationship I believe that a small level of insecurity is actually healthy...
For either parts the sense that they have to work hard and on a day-to-day basis to keep the other person is essential for the well being of both and their relationship...
Neither should be afraid all the time but either 100% safe, relationships should be an easy and exciting challenge but nevertheless a challenge...Part of the Game is also giving more than the other person expects every now and then... it would be boring if the other person already knew and expected something like this and therefore with no surprise at all...

I consider being Played, when lies and deception are used to allure someone... when one the parts doesn’t understand that a game is being played... when someone is unaware that the other person knows what his or her actions are causing and also knows that it is purposely confusing them...

In a relationship being Played happens when someone does to the other what and how he/she pleases without any consideration of his or her feelings... No one likes to be a punching bag or a carpet to be stepped on, so at some point a change should, must and will happen...


I love Playing these Games of attraction and flirting, especially after acknowledging the differences between Playing and being Played...
In sum, Life is a Game, so Play nice...

Let’s Talk Dirty!

On last week’s post, the blog heated up a bit...
I kind of like that...



Is the fact of wanting to talk about sex openly, either with family, friends and even strangers, to be taken as a sign of insecurity or immaturity? Or by the opposite can it be seen as presumptuous and invasive?



Relationships and attitudes towards them are debatable, so how come this subject is a so called taboo?



We are able to talk frankly about our needs, our wishes, and even our desires... isn’t sex made of all of these exact same conceptions?


I take great pleasure in discussing relationships and their different dynamics, to understand the various roles and reactions but at the same time I enjoy provoking people out of their shells, out of their comforts zone... Ultimately I adore being surprised and shocked... becoming myself subject of someone else’s study...



Bad judgement and narrow-mindedness make people closed to what can also be valid arguments...
Prejudice and misconceived ideas are many times the best defence for some to something that they are uncomfortable with...


Sex talks are one of the best proofs of that... Sex talks is not just talking about the act itself...

It should be how all the variables, situations and primal instincts led to that one desire... It should be how all came to be and how does the mind and body react to it...

Finally it should be how those urges were expressed as... how they revealed themselves...
That’s what I like to talk about!

Are you a SEP?! (Sexually Emancipated Person)

This will be my most daring post yet...
For those who actually know me, it should not come as a shock because most likely we’ve already talked about this... for everyone else, brace yourselves...



In some places it’s starting now, and in others it’s been happening for quite a while...
Being a Sexually Emancipated Person does not qualify a person as better or worse than another, it just shows how some relate, or not, to sex as discussion subject and how it’s taken as part of a relationship or just simply as a physical need...
It’s statistically proven that 90% of the so called pickups in clubs and bars actually start from the female part... so for all you players out there... it’s not just you playing...
That being said, the big question lies in understanding if simply the physical attraction is enough to have a sexual encounter or some sort of feeling is needed? And in either event, how do people react to it?
History has been written in the sense that the Man has the god-given right to have feel-free sex and that the Woman should become in some way attached to him...

What I believe is that this situation is no longer accurate...
As Man and Woman are obviously different, in their anatomy but also in their various desires and wishes, they should be seen as equals in their roles as sexual beings...

The mentality is changing, and most impressively and even funny is how some men are unable to deal with the fact that sometimes they are not, or won’t be, the ones to decide the fate of the relationship and even lose themselves for not knowing how to handle that...
As for the women point of view on this change, I don't feel it would be my place to say...

The Fun Hangover

Have you ever been away on holidays with some friends and despite being completely exhausted from the trip back home, you feel the need to do something besides staying in immediately after you just walked through your door?
Have you ever gone to a summer festival and/or camping and got back home tired and still you couldn’t stay still?
Have you ever felt inexplicably sad for no apparent reason after a good weekend of partying?
No?!
In that case, it’s just me then...

I have looked back and came to these conclusions...
I do feel the need to do something or I feel kind of down for no good reason after having the time of my life...

I call it the Fun Hangover... You experience something overwhelming, or you spend time with some of your closest friends and you create a space of storage in your head to manage and gather such happiness and excitement... You save images, sounds and even smells and later you associate with either that or that moment...
And when it’s all over that space then becomes empty... so what do you do now? Should you stop?
Definitely not!
In my opinion you should embrace and even appreciate such emptiness and conclude that it’s in fact a sign that you had a great time and that now it’s time to discover your next adventure...
With my kind of lifestyle I’ve been made fun of that I won’t last long... Funny, right?
But since I don’t live to work but work to live, I will enjoy the best I can, and to the fullest!